The Duke of Sussex has just had a blistering 72 hours, the likes of which he is not likely to forget any time soon.
You might have heard of ‘panda diplomacy’ so today I present you with ‘sweet-tooth statesmanship’.
The all-bells and whistles non-royal, royal-adjacent wedding of the Duke of Westminster in Chester in England’s north over the weekend necessitated, for security reasons, the closing of streets, and so to do his lord bountiful bit, His Grace laid on free ice cream for the entire city.
It’s hard to complain about being put out with a mouthful of mint choc chip.
Maybe he should have extended his sugary largesse a bit further afield because the duke’s chum, one Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, has just endured what one could officially term, a real bummer of a weekend.
What, I ask you, is the best flavour to cheer up a man facing a brother rubbing his elevation in his face, his friends hardly rushing to rally to his side, a charity of which he is president facing new, devastating allegations and clouds over a mooted Netflix project?
Somehow a solo scoop of vanilla is not just going to cut it.
Let’s begin things here on the beaches of France where, last week, every world leader worth their official NATO travel mug gathered to mark 80-years since the D-Day landings on 6 June.
With King Charles still being treated for cancer it was Prince William who got to play international statesman alongside a bunch of heads of state – people who have nuclear launch codes and whose power extends beyond vetoing acts for the Royal Variety Show – including President Joe Biden and President Emannuel Macron.
So on 6 June, with Harry back in California muttering to himself “service is universal”, it was his older brother and sometimes “arch nemesis” William who was getting to have a good long go at strutting his stuff on the world stage.
Britain’s Prince William (L) shaking hands with US President Joe Biden. Picture: Ludovic MARIN / AFP
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau (centre left) and Britain’s Prince William. Picture: Jordan Pettitt – Pool/Getty Images
Meanwhile it’s now two years since Harry’s last attempt at international statesmanning at his partially-attended UN speech. Whether invitations to such global gathering as Davos or Sun Valley or Google Camp have been issued to Harry and his wife Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex in recent years, they have not been in attendance.
Rubbing Maldon salt into the wound was the Prince of Wales’ choice to wear a striped Army Air Corps (AAC) tie to the Normandy event, after having been made colonel-in-chief of the AAC by King Charles last month. The real sting here lies in the fact that Harry trained as an Apache pilot with the AAC and the colonelcy of this outfit, in another lifetime, would have most likely gone to Harry.
William’s tie, as the Sunday Times’ Roya Nikkhah pointed out, “carried a subtle but significant message”.
How must it have felt for Harry to watch his brother wearing the tie of his old military outfit, flying the flag for the country that he has actually gone to war to serve, twice? It’s the picture that must surely represent his worst nightmare.
William wearing the subtly controversial tie. Picture: Jordan Pettitt – Pool/Getty Images
Of all the major events and milestone moments that Harry has missed in recent years while he licks his wounds on the West Coast and disconsolately makes his way through another slice of avocado toast, this D-Day outing was the one where his absence felt most conspicuous.
At a moment all about honouring the unthinkable courage and bravery of servicepeople, the omission of the one member of Crown Inc who has also shown such courage and bravery felt strangely hollow.
Then came Saturday, as the populace of Chester licked their melting waffle cones, the Duke of Westminster got hitched. William was front and centre again here, this time on usher duty and proving that even a future King is not above being transported in a minibus on occasion.
Again, this was a scene that could and should have involved Harry. The Duke of Westminster, or ‘Hughie’ as he is known, is reportedly one of the few people who has managed to hold onto their friendship with both the prince and the duke even after the Big Buckingham Palace Bang of 2020 aka Megxit. Not only is Hughie a godfather to Prince George but to Prince Archie too.
Prince William attending the wedding of Hugh Grosvenor, Duke of Westminster. Picture: Chris Jackson/Getty Images
Wills mingled with other guests, Harry was nowhere to be seen. Picture: Oli SCARFF / AFP
The Duke of Sussex however, on Saturday, was not showing elderly lifelong subscribers of The Lady to their seats and ignoring the whiff of mothball around their Belville Sassoon dresses in the capacity of an usher. He wasn’t even in the UK.
There are competing accounts of whether Harry gallantly bowed out of Hughie’s wedding to avoid the awkwardness of bumping into William or whether he had less say over his no-show.
Hopefully the duke is busy making new friends in Montecito because he doesn’t seem to be keeping the ones he used to have in the UK.
Last year, Jeremy Clarkson decided to put vituperative pen to paper and wrote a horrendous, misogynistic take down of Meghan which Harry termed “horrific … hurtful and cruel” and said incited violence towards women.
What a shock, therefore, to see one of Harry’s former childhood friends, Hugh van Cutsem, pop up on an episode of Clarkson’s Farm last month, “an appearance that would have been unthinkable were he still close to Harry,” according to Daily Mail diarist Richard Eden.
Stay with me here because now we get to a really horrible bit.
On the weekend the Mail published their latest piece of reporting from on the ground in Africa detailing allegations concerning the African Parks (AP) charity, of which Harry has been involved since 2016. Late last year, he was named president.
Already this year the Mail has claimed that paid guards employed by AP have raped, abused and tortured local people in the Republic of the Congo and Zambia. Now this weekend came the allegation that the mass relocation of 263 elephants by AP in 2022 has resulted in the deaths of nine people in Malawi.
Harry and Meghan in Nigeria. Picture: Andrew Esiebo/Getty Images for The Archewell Foundation
The couple enjoyed a royal-style tour recently. Picture: Andrew Esiebo/Getty Images for The Archewell Foundation
Prince Harry and Meghan visit Nigeria Unconquered, a charity organisation that works in collaboration with the Invictus Games Foundation. Picture: Andrew Esiebo/Getty Images for The Archewell Foundation
According to Warm Heart, a Zambia-based campaign group, elephant attacks in both Malawi and Zambia have left 41 children orphaned and injured more than 4000 people, “some so seriously they will never work on their farms again,” according to the Mail.
Representatives for Harry told the Mail in February, after the initial abuse claims were made that “when the duke became aware of these serious allegations, he immediately escalated them to the CEO and chairman of the board of African Parks, the appropriate people to handle next steps”.
This is a twofer for the 39-year-old duke – not only is he the head of an organisation facing unthinkably horrible claims but it has also previously been reported that he wants to make a documentary about his work in Africa with the clock reportedly winding down on the Sussexes’ Netflix deal.
What should have been an easy, cheery viewing-for-all-the-family-win – a doco about Harry doing good works against the backdrop of African sunsets or him squinting in the noon day sun as he helps save majestic beasts – has now collided with this AP situation.
Harry and Meghan. Picture: Kola SULAIMON / AFP
How can he credibly front 90-odd minutes of feel-good enthusing about the continent and showcasing his commitment for TV audiences when he is president of an organisation whose staff stands accused of rape and torture in the same place?
So for the time being, I give you Harry, a man who right now would seem to be in dire need of a hug and some ice cream and some means of sorting out this AP PR disaster. Actually, make that a double scoop. Tell ‘em Hughie’s paying.
