Beyonce is a megastar of the highest order. She’s the reigning queen of pop music and the mistress of touring, rivalled only by Taylor Swift.
Now she’s following in Swift’s footsteps, so to speak. Her newest endeavor, a country album, was released and started moving up the charts briefly. That is, until even the most fervent Beyoncehead took a step back.
A collective “BeyonCE WHAT?”
Her new release, “Cowboy Carter”, has dropped like Lauren Boebert’s head during a banana harvest, and she’s looking for live performances to help. Her sights set on the Grand Old Opry.
But the venerable institution denied her appearance, relating that she wasn’t “invited” to play, and that all musicians require that precious request in order to appear.
A spokesperson for the Opry, Trish Blake, told us more about the decision by the Grand Old Council.
“This is, first and foremost, about country music. I mean, for God’s sake, Beyonce is a black woman. The Opry audience will haul her behind a horse. She doesn’t do country. Let the Apollo have her. Our will is done.”
The brief statement was accepted whole-heartedly by a resounding majority of the country music faithful, especially Republicans, many of whom listen to country music because it’s very simple and stupid.
